Lost

I have come to the conclusion that I am a lost person. I thought that after I graduated college everything would just fall into place. That I would find a job that I was good at and could work my way up, that I would have my own place, and that I could settle down with Nick and get married. And although that last part is falling right into place, I need more. I quit my job today. I didn't like it at all-I really actually dreaded going into work each day (which wasn't very often because I only worked like 4 times). The last three weeks I have just been sitting around the apartment watching TV all day waiting for Nick to get home. When he gets home I'm crappy to him and he doesn't deserve it. I am taking my frustration in not having a career out on him and it sucks. I applied for several positions in the Chicagoland area. If Nick doesn't get that job offer then I will either go back to JC Penney for awhile, or commute to Chicago, or maybe both, because I am drowning in bills right now and I have no way to pay for anything. I can't even help out with rent or utilities or anything and I just feel useless. Some days I wonder if moving up here was the right thing to do. But I think either way I would be unhappy. Continuing the long distance relationship was putting a strain on both of us. I know everything will fall into place eventually, but I hope it's soon.